Choose love.

mother. daughter. semi-reformed punk rocking girl drummer. also, somebody's wife. i like loud music and comic books and the sound of my sons laughing and cool crisp autumn mornings with leaves crunching under my feet. i like cooking, but i am a miserable baker. i like people who color outside the lines. i like to write, about my life, about things that matter.

wisconsin ex-pat, exurban twin cities dweller. believer in people. choose love.
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What is going on with your adoption?
breakthecitysky breakthecitysky Said:

It’s funny you should ask, we just got back from meeting with the lawyer. Signed a bunch of papers, and now we wait for the waiver of the home study (expected to be a non-issue) and for the county to schedule the hearing. She’s confident everything will be taken care of by the end of the year. Pretty great.

Trying to talk the squirrel down from the tree to feed it leftover fries.

I’m pretty fond of you guys.

#tbt to my Senate staffer days, when about the only thing I could afford on the regular was a cup of this magic.

20, 32, 64
breakthecitysky breakthecitysky Said:

20. What would you name your future daughter?
Haha, this uterus is closed for business. But if Kid C had been a girl, her name would have been Cailin Iona.

32. Are you wearing socks?
I hate socks. Also, I’m wearing sandals and I’m not that old yet.

64. Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
Yeeeeeeeeeep. Most recently: Kid C, it was super moist and sticky and tasted of peanut butter and regret.

topshelfdogfood just posted a quote from Sean Hannity that said something to the effect of, “my dad hit me with a belt and I’m okay.” Mr. Top Shelf indicates that no, Sean is really not okay, and while I am inclined to agree with that assessment it’s kind of beside the point.

The Mister’s dad disciplined both him and his brother with a belt when they were growing up. I remember my stomach flipping the first time he mentioned it, totally casually.  Let me assure you that it’s rare enough that my husband raises his voice to our children (when he does it’s the cop voice, and I giggle, and the effect is generally ruined), much less raised a hand or anything else to them.

The point is not that he survived that kind of discipline as a child and grew up to be a well-adjusted adult and parent.  The point is that he grew up and understood as he did that corporal punishment is not how you teach your kid anything.  Because your parents did it, because you walked out of it without a lifetime’s worth of therapy, does not make it okay. 

What Adrian Peterson did is so beyond not okay I don’t have words for it.  There’s no regional or cultural or ____al excuse for it. We evolve.  We become better.  And if we don’t, we suffer the consequences. 

And no matter where you fall on the issue of corporal punishment, or a parent’s right to discipline their children how they see fit, beating a 4-year old child to the point where they need medical care? That’s child abuse. End of story.

The best thing about Alison Bechdel winning a MacArthur grant is that more people will read her, because she’s brilliant and awesome and more than just the mind behind the test.  Check out her work, you won’t regret it.

Bonus #gpoyw, thanks to ilikebigmugs! #iloveyoupampoovey #sploosh

What do you miss most about living in WI?
breakthecitysky breakthecitysky Said:

One of my favorite Old 97’s songs has a line that I’ve always wanted tattooed somewhere on me: the streets of where I’m from are paved with hearts instead of gold.

My family is in a lot of ways textbook dysfunctional, but they’re mine, and the roots that they’ve laid down stretch from central to southeastern Wisconsin, blood and tears and sweat and hope that’s fertilized the soil that birthed us.  My stories are there.  My people are there.  That root system – that support system – it’s not easy to replicate.  Moving to Minnesota was absolutely the right thing for our family but I don’t think I fully understood how hard it can be to build community as an adult.  I have really amazing, wonderful friends but they live around the world, not next door or down the street, and that’s an absence that I feel very keenly at times.  Not just because, hey, free babysitters when the parents lived five minutes away, but no backup in case of emergencies, no shared histories and kids that grew up together knowing the architecture of each other’s houses as well as their own.   Three years in and I’m not sure I’m any closer to finding those people, at least not in the numbers I expected.

See also: cheese curds that squeak and Friday Night Fish Frys.

What is the song you can't live without? The song that reminds you of your dating years with hubby The song you danced to on wedding day The song that reminds you of each child.
breakthecitysky breakthecitysky Said:

Hrm. The song I can’t live without?  More like songs… I mostly can’t imagine life without music, but I suppose the anthem I go back to is The Weakerthans - Aside.  Dating years?  Alkaline Trio - Clavicle.  The song we danced to on our wedding day?  Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova - Falling Slowly.  The song that reminds me of each child?  Well. I sang Bushel and a Peck  from Guys and Dolls to all three of them as a lullaby.  Kid A?  Probably Paul Simon’s Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard. Kid B? Fun’s We Are Young. Kid C? Beastie Boys - No Sleep Till Brooklyn.  Great questions, thank you! <3